What a real Ethiopian coffee ceremony actually involves

In a hotel lobby, the ceremony is often compressed to fifteen minutes and arrives with a bill attached. In someone's home, it takes the better part of an hour, and the coffee is closer to a pretext than the point.

Green beans are roasted over coals in full view of the guests, and the pan is often carried around the room so everyone can take in the smoke with cupped hands — a genuine invitation, not a theatrical flourish. Then comes the grinding, the clay jebena, and the first of three pours.

Those three rounds carry names: abol, tona, and baraka, the last meaning blessing. Leaving before the third round is considered a mild discourtesy — staying for it is, in a real sense, the entire purpose of the ritual.

A short list of what tends to go well: accepting the popcorn that's offered, drinking slowly, complimenting the roast rather than the surroundings, and letting the conversation wander at its own pace. What doesn't: reaching for a camera before asking, particularly on the first round.